So You’re Saying There’s a Chance…

There is a definitely a chance, even if it is remote. Tony is facing the longest playoff drought in League! history. He comes into The League! this year on his ninth straight year of missing the playoffs. The last time he made it to the playoffs, his fellow ginger friend Conan was still hosting The Tonight Show, the swine flu was a thing, and Iron Man 2 was making its premier.

It’s hard to ignore Tony’s impressively turrible statlines. Over the course of his 11 seasons in The League!, Tony has managed to string together so many loses that he can proudly say he has The League!’s worst winning percentage at .396. That’s a mark that even the White Sox have only hit 8 times in their 119 year history. Tony’s managed to eclipse it 6 times in 11 years. Between all of his loses and inability to put up points or finish anywhere near the top of the leaderboard, it’s hard to keep a straight face even thinking about him being playoff relevant this year.

The one good thing he has going for him that hopefully will help his cause is draft picks. Tony was able to snag a couple of third round draft picks just hours before the trade deadline during last year’s Winter Meetings. He will be going into this year’s draft with the third strongest group of draft picks and will be picking three times in the 3rd round.

This isn’t the first time Tony has stocked up on early round draft picks. In 2015, Tony came into the draft with two 1st round draft picks. He used those draft picks on Jamaal Charles and Dez Bryant. Charles went down for the season in week 5 with a torn ACL against the Bears, ending his season as the 51st best running back. Bryant broke his foot in week two and tried to come back later in the season but was ineffective. Just like turf toe, a broken foot is a tricky injury to come back from. He ended up finishing the year as the 81st best wide receiver. Tony ended up riding the Terrible Bus right to Relegationtown, where he went on to lose his first and only Relegation Bowl. If that is any indication as to how this year’s draft might go, it looks like he won’t be warming up to the idea of becoming playoff relevant anytime soon.

His schedule won’t be doing him any favors as it looks like he pulled the short straw on strength of schedule this year. B Scott, who was previously Reichert’s rival, will be in need of a fill in rival after Reichert’s 2019 relegation. Tony will be filling in for Reichert in that rivalry this year and face B Scott twice - once in week 12 and again in a week that has yet to be determined. This rivalry is renewed after a longstanding power bill dispute created much disdain between B and Tony back in the day. His chances of beating B either time this year are not looking good as B is coming in fully loaded on draft picks.

The hard reality is that while there might be a chance that Tony ends his nine year playoff drought this year, there is probably a better chance he ends up defending his impressive relegation playoff title instead. However, if he can find a way to not shoot his eye out and avoid pooping the bed in this year’s draft, Tony could, just maybe, be relevant again when week 14 rolls around.