Lots of Work To Do
It’s going to take one crafty algorithm for Hans to get back to the playoffs this year.
Hans has been chasing bobbleheads unsuccessfully for more than a decade now. He’s put up some good efforts, including last year’s second place championship run, but he hasn’t been able to get back to the top since 2008.
Last year was clearly a year that he thought he was going to do it. Involved in 4 of the 11 trades that were made last year, Hans was one of the most active managers throughout the year in the trade market.
He started to build his championship or bust team 6 weeks before the trade deadline, going after Austin Hooper and Ty Montgomery for his 5th round pick and a couple scrubs. 3 weeks later on Halloween and the eve of his 36th birthday, he went all in, throwing in his 1st round pick for Aaron Rodgers and Tyler Lockett. He capped it off with another trade right at the trade deadline, giving up his 4th round pick for Devin Singletary and Chris Carson.
Hans’ Combined 2019 Trades:
Hans Got: Austin Hooper, Ty Montgomery, Aaron Rodgers, Tyler Lockett, Sammy Watkins, Devin Singletary, Chris Carson, 6th Round Pick, 8th Round Pick, 11th Round Pick
Hans Gave Away: Terry McLaurin, Jordan Howard, DJ Moore, Carson Wentz, Tony Pollard, Mark Ingram II, San Francisco Defense, 1st Round Pick, 4th Round Pick, 5th Round Pick
All those trades close but no cigared him as he ended up getting smoked by Egon in the finals, finished the year in 2nd place, and left himself with a lot of work to do in 2020.
Physically, he has come into a lot of drafts in worse shape. On paper though, this will be the worst shape he will be in on draft day. In the first 59 picks, Hans will have 2 of them, and the earliest he can grab someone would be 12th and could be as late as 23rd. The work he will have to put in will be exhaustive if he wants to be playoff relevant. In the words of Britney, he better work bitch.
| Pick 1 | Pick 2 | Pick 3 | Pick 4 | Pick 5 | Pick 6 | Pick 7 | Pick 8 | Pick 9 | Pick 10 | Pick 11 | Pick 12 | Pick 13 | Pick 14 | Pick 15 | Pick 16 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2nd Round | 3rd Round | 6th Round | 6th Round | 7th Round | 8th Round | 8th Round | 9th Round | 10th Round | 11th Round | 11th Round | 12th Round | 13th Round | 14th Round | 15th Round | 16th Round |
Hans’ garbage 2020 draft picks
If there is any team nerdy enough to overcome drafting with such a garbage set of draft picks, Hans has proven he has the secret weapon to do it. Make fun of his algorithms all you want, but his success rate on draft day is something that simply cannot be ignored. Hans has won a league leading five best drafts, accounting for over 1/3 of that award’s acceptance speeches.
Moreover, some of his draft grades coming out of draft day have been Grainger Award worthy. Since draft grades were introduced in 2013, there have only been four A+’s awarded. Hans owns half of them. He is also the only manager to have received that grade more than once as he took it down in back to back years in 2016 and 2017.
An A+ might be a stretch this year, but given his excel skills, the postseason isn’t totally out of the question. If Hans can somehow whip together his most powerful algorithm ever and sneak his way in, all bets are off once the postseasons starts.
Accorinding to league writers, he starts the season as the least likely candidate to make it back to the playoffs and more likely to solve the world’s energy crisis than win a bobblehead.