Bad News Bears

Some may call him the Bad News Bears of The League!. Others, the Cleveland Browns. His drafts are typically head scratching at best, he finishes near the bottom half of the standings more often than not, and he hasn’t been to the playoffs since the first Hunger Games movie was in theaters and Call Me Maybe was the song of the summer.

Whether it’s the bad country music or falling asleep by round 5, Moeller’s year typically gets derailed before the season even begins. Draft Day, also known as Moeller’s season starting and coming to an end day, has not been kind to The Bear. On average, Moeller walks away from Draft Day with a C-, worse than any other manager in The League!. He is also the only manager to receive a letter grade in the D’s three times and has never received anything higher than a B.

Moeller’s Draft Grades:
2019: C+
2018: D
2017: C
2016: B
2014: D+
2013: D

Bad drafts have lead Moeller to a league worst 122.55 points per game. All of those points, or lack of points, have gotten him to an all time winning percentage of .433. On average, he finishes the season with a losing record of 6-7-0 and somewhere around 8th place.

When you can’t score points, you can’t make the playoffs. This has typically been the case for Moeller, who has made it to the real playoffs 4 times in 13 years. That’s the same amount of times that he has been to the relegation playoffs. You have a better chance betting on red or black at the roulette wheel than you do betting on Moeller to make it to the playoffs.

When he has made it to the real playoffs, things continue to get worse. While his .433 regular season winning percentage is bad, his playoff winning percentage drops another .100 points to an even more laughable .333. He has gone one and done in 3 out of 4 playoff appearances, with one shining moment in 2012 where he finished in the top 3 for the first and only time in his team’s history.

Standings by Year:

***Bold years denotes winning seasons

The saddest of all his stats may be the fact that the only award he has received to date is the participation award, which isn’t actually a real award in The League! because it’s reserved for AYSO soccer players that stink. He has never won a League! championship, never won a best draft, never scored over 200 points in a week, and came one Vegas trip shy of snagging the perfect attendance award. If there were an award for sleeping during the draft and eating powdered donuts, his trophy case would be full.

Moeller’s bright spot is that he has far and away been one of the most well attended managers when it comes to making the trip to Vegas every year. The only year that he missed was in 2016 because of his wedding, one of the only excuses that actually flies in The League!. He also did a better job in one year of queastoring than Grabs has done in over a decade of holding the position.

Off the field, Moeller has been one of The League!’s biggest cheerleaders. On it, there is a lot of room for improvement. If the real Bad News Bears were able to turn things around, there’s always hope for The League!’s Bear to do it as well.